bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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feminism

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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