What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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