Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops