Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

thumb_up thumb_down +3

MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man went skydiving and tragically died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops