There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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gingers

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Lil Wayne

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What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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