When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

360 NO SCOPE

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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