a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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