a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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