What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +72

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +58

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what is patrick wilson? smart

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops