How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

no

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +41

if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why....... Because.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops