- Anti Joke

Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

women's rights.

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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