Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

where's mom I killed her

thumb_up thumb_down -14

batman farted so hes retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops