What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops