What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is cowboy say

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Atheism

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

thumb_up thumb_down -38

dallen loves penis

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops