What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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