If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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