what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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rocky is here again.......................

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Chris is hairy

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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