A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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