what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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T u r n i p s

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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