Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

Neither have I, nobody knew him.

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

I'm homeless.

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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