What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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A whole 'nother.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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