- Anti Joke

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

Man U

If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket