A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

thumb_up thumb_down +5

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Black people having a Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops