Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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