- Anti Joke

What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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