Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

Heskey time.

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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