Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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A man walks into a bar

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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