You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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Why was the black child found dead in water? He was raped and thrown into a river.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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