Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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