Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops