What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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