How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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