what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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Q #1: Why did Sally fall off the swings? A #1: She has no arms. Q #2: Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer was depressed about the low business and farmer's economy, so he poured gasoline all over himself and lit a match. The barn burned down and the chicken was the only survivor.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops