What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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