You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

dat shoe shine tho

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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