If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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