How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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hers a joke... japanese people

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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