How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops