the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops