What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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