Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

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Q: Why did the Mexican mother leave her baby in the hot car during summer? A: Because she was irresponsible and forgetful.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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