He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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. . I am a whale

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops