What's red and can sing? Elmo

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you get if you put a lepper in front of a fan A mess

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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