Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

thumb_up thumb_down -103

What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

thumb_up thumb_down +138

Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

thumb_up thumb_down +64

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Chuck Norris is a normal man.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

thumb_up thumb_down +40

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

theres a fat guy

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops