if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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a banana

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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Lockerbie bombing

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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josh simpson has cancer

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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