Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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find the o 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duh its up top

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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Hellen keller

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops