What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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