if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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