Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is life? Paul.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops