How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

Your mumma's so fat she is fat

A man goes to the potty.

Women's professional sports

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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