Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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Black people having a Job.

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops