A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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