How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

Are you gay. No. Ok.

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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