Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

thumb_up thumb_down +1

miha kako si?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops