What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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