why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Good job, son.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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Amanda Knox walks home free.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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