What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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