Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Potassium? K.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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